Ellen Jackson
Santa Barbara, CA
Teacher, Award Winning Poet
Three Time First Place Winner in Ahaha Associated Contests
and Author of Nifty Children's Books
Click here to go to her fine Home Page
First Place: 1998 "Missing Word Contest"
New Word: "Green$pa$m"

Definition: Precipitous financial market movements
that occur as a result of statements
made by the Federal Reserve Board Chairman.

Highs and Lows

When Alan Greenspan coughs or blinks,
The market rises, the market sinks.
From highest peaks to lowest chasms
These ups and downs I call--GREENSPASMS!

Original Contest Results
Thanks To Our Contest Supporter
Logan & Geotas, PLC, Attorneys At Law

First Place: 1998 "Fairness Contest"
Equal Partners

I gave him food, dessert, and drink.
I gave away the kitchen sink.
My guy was prickly as a cactus.
He never helped--he had no practice!

I found a fairisher way to live.
My selfish guy began to give.
My otherish story has a sequel--
We both are happier when we're equal.

Original Contest Results
Thanks To Our Contest Supporter
Arlene Ham, Rapid City, SD

First Place: 1998 International
Mt. Rushmore Contest: Adult Poetry
Theodore Roosevelt: A Monumental Figure

Here I sit on top Mt. Rushmore,
Wishing that you folks would hush more.
Way up here there's peace and quiet,
It's just bully! Why not try it.

Here I sit engraved in stone,
With three companions, I'm not alone.
I can't move-not one iota,
But I'm at home in South Dakota!

South Dakota in 'eighty-five,
That was where I felt alive.
I caught a thief who broke the law,
And punched a ruffian in the jaw.

Sitting here right next to Lincoln,
I can't help but do some thinkin'.
As a friend of this great nation,
I believe in conservation.

Garbage, waste, and air pollution-
Where, oh where, is the solution?
Pesticides and global warming,
Even killer bees are swarming!

Wilderness--I tried to save it.
It's your heritage, don't pave it!
Nature helps to soothe the soul.
It keeps you sane, humane, and whole.

As President I did my best,
As a monument I can rest.
In South Dakota, land of the Sioux,
I can just enjoy the vioux.